No. 1 ingredient is “beef.” Because it is listed first, that means it is the largest single ingredient in the filling. Next ingredient is water, then textured vegetable protein, then soy grits. TVP and soy grits can be had at Whole Foods Markets. Also there’s salt, tomato paste, and Worcestershire sauce, which can also be had at any grocery store. Parts of this that would be hard to duplicate at home include the “seasoning” portion of this ingredient list, No. 5 on the list of ingredients, which includes several industrial food additives and flavor enhancers as well as the non-specific “spices” — which could include any number of things. Also, while the ingredients are listed in descending order of weight, there’s no way to know the exact proportions. As a former JIB employee (18 years ago), I can tell you the tacos start out frozen, the filling is nearly a paste, which means you’ll need a blender, and the tacos are fried using a specially made multi-taco clamp that holds the folded halves of the shells together during cooking. As far as anchovies are concerned, they are not listed in the ingredients at all. Anchovies are usually one of the last ingredients listed on a bottle of Worcestershire sauce — so it is a nominal ingredient there. And Worcestershire sauce, being listed last in the filling ingredients, is itself a nominal ingredient in the JIB taco filling. Additionally, on their Web site, the individual ingredients of the Worcestershire sauce used are broken out — and they do not include anchovies as an ingredient, though “natural flavors” could include anchovies. As far as “beans” are concerned, the only beans here are soy beans, and only after they have been processed into industrial food additives, including: soy flour as part of the TVP, soy grits, hydrolyzed soy protein and soybean oil.

JIB out to sell these damn things frozen in your grocer’s freezer. The closest JIB to Washington, D.C. is in North Carolina. The next four-day weekend I’m driving down there for some. Or on my next trip home to St. Louis.

PREPARATION: First, STEAM your tortillas lightly, just enough to make them pliable. Spread a couple of tablespoons or so of the soy mixture with one slice American cheese onto each tortilla, fold it, and lay it on a piece of wax paper. Continue this process until you run out of paste, cheese and tortillas.

Now, take your pile of tacos and FREEZE them. This way you can indulge your craving instantly by snagging a few from the freezer as needed. This is what JIB does. They do not make their tacos from scratch. Once the tacos are frozen, you cook them in the deep-fryer till barely golden, add sauce and lettuce, and ole! You have a reasonable facsimile of the original Monster Taco.

Oh, and also, while this is a very nice recipe, it’s not even close to what JITB does. That filling is almost 100 percent textured vegetable protein.