HOW TO PRESERVE A HUSBAND
Be careful in your selection, do not choose too young. When once selected, give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use.
Some insist upon keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting into hot water. This may make them sour, hard and sometimes bitter; even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good.
Garnish them with patience, well sweetened with love and seasoned with kisses. Wrap them in a mantle of charity, keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with peaches and cream.
Thus prepared, they will keep for years.
Most girls used this recipe in the 1930’s and have stated that their husbands still show no signs of spoilage.