Nasty!!!

SHOPPING

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…

(Please scroll down)

What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English! Now get back to your business.

I don’t know about you sometimes!

Q: Where can women over the age of 60 find young, sexy men, who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you’re in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “I remember these!”

Thanks for sharing!:cool:

Margie2 - you’re welcomed! It’s nice to see you around again! KW

KW
Thanks for the laughs, I needed them today.

LOL, KW…I just love the nasty ones.

I hope this one isn’t too nasty…it made laugh so…

Subject: Staff Meeting

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous
staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is
one pretty sharp boss!)

When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having
fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a
quick contest.

The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.

The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written
for other products that captured the essence of Viagra.

Slight variations were acceptable.

About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a
Top 10 List.

With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very
well for everyone!

The top 10 were:

  1. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

  2. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

  3. Viagra, Like a rock!

  4. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

  5. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

  6. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

  7. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

  8. Viagra, Home of the whopper!

  9. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

“DRUM ROLL”




  1. This is your peepee. This is your peepee on drugs.