Pumpkin Pie

Ok - I realize that everyone isn’t a pie baker. Many have trouble with the crust, some with the filling, some just don’t have the patience.

Today you can buy pie crust in a box and just add water, you can buy refrigerated crusts already rolled out and you can buy frozen pie crusts.

There are cans of fruit filling that make it easy to open and pour into the shell.

There are puddings in a can if you aren’t successful at making pudding.

And then there are Mrs. Smith’s frozen pies.

Mind you - today is Thursday in an Italian home. I was busy enough with my pot of meat sauce, frying Italian sausage and last night I made a batch of homemade ricotta. Thursday in an Italian home is pasta night. Stuffed shells with meat sauce and Italian sausage was on the menu. I made my salad mix early in the day and I also had laundry to do as well as normal house cleaning.

I get a phone call from a very close friend - she is screaming and speaking in her native tongue. Yeah - like I understand that one. But I figured something ruffled her feathers. So I patiently listened.

I was quiet - then she asked if I was there. Heck I was letting her rant and rave - I’m a good friend - I listened.

She wants me to go to her house for one minute. I HAVE TO see something and it is urgent.

Okay - 10 minutes to her house, one minute in, and ten minutes back home - reluctantly I go. After all - what are friends for?

My shells were stuffed and in the baking dish ready for the oven - so I slid them in the fridge until time to bake.

Grabbed my jacket, purse, keys and crocs. Run out the door and head to her house. Does she tell me that they are replacing a driveway two houses away from her and that traffic is not moving smoothly? Nope.

There’s the work crew - pulling up slabs of concrete with some little gizmo vehicle - I can’t get to her house for a few minutes. Cars are parked on both sides of the street making it difficult to go anywhere. Should I wait or try to turn around and drive around the block and come up the other way?

Standing there on the passenger side of the car is an older man with a file folder and papers hanging out. He is rapping on my window. Could he be a foreman for the job telling me to turn around? I hit the button to put the window down an inch or so to hear what he has to say - dang window went all the way down - I couldn’t stop it. He reaches in and unlocks the door. I grab my purse which was on the seat - I can’t move the car and I don’t know what to do. I’m ready to start blasting my horn for help.

He starts to get in and asks what have I got in my purse - is it gold? Why am I protecting it? One leg in and he finally looks at me - OOPS! Same car as what he is waiting for to pick him up - different woman driving. I think he understood Italian - he got out and closed the door. As he apologized, which was very rude of him - I was still rattling in Italian - the nerve - speaking while I was - I started to move up and hurry that gizmo out of my way. Scraped by him missing him by a hair and ran in her house.

What for?

The dip went shopping and found a Mrs. Smith frozen pumpkin pie on sale for $2.99 and thought it would be nice for her family of 5 to enjoy with their dinner.

The dang thing was so small that they are lucky if they all get a taste of it!

She rattled in her lingo - I rattled in mine - and I reminded her that she may need to buy more than one for Thanksgiving to feed the crowd that piles in on her. And I reminded her that she has a sex maniac across the street and that he could have been related to Jack the Ripper or Charles Manson and that I did not appreciate his company.

Final words from me - savor the crumbs - there is not much there!

Final words from her - hey - you coulda got lucky!

All that to look at a small pie because she was upset! Sometimes we do strange things for friends. She could have just told me about the pie - but she freaked when she opened the box.

Anyway - I hope they enjoyed having a bite cuz there sure ain’t much more than that for all of them.

And if anyone here is going to buy a Mrs. Smith frozen pumpkin pie for company - you better get 2 or more. They are very small.

Lucky??? grrrrrrrrr - I’ll get her for that one…


Yesterday 2 more pies went into her oven. She just couldn’t resist those $2.99 specials from Mrs. Smith. And I was invited over for tea and pie. I was to be a taste tester.

Actually - I was a guinea pig. And I am stupid for getting talked into it.

You see - after they ate their pie - they had questions about the pie. So buying 2 more and going through all that again was what they did. Just wish they would’ve left me out of it.

I had a slice of pie. OMG! GET THE STOMACH PUMP!

Never in my life did I ever have such a horrible pie.

To begin with - all you could taste was heavy spices. Horribly heavy spices and you could not taste the pumpkin.

I don’t know who decides how much spice goes into their pies - but you could not taste the pumpkin at all.

The spices are supposed to compliment the pie - not over take it to the point that you only taste the spices. Which I keep tasting and all the tea and orange juice in the world won’t help. I am still tasting the spices. And I probably will till the day I die!

When I make pumpkin pie - I taste the pumpkin - I love the taste of pumpkin.

I feel like someone just opened my mouth and pour a ton of spices in me.

I prayed all night that I would not die - I was so sick. So I’m still here - God answered my prayers. I get to be a pain in the tush to Ron a bit longer. Or maybe God is getting even with me for something and He wants me to suffer this one out.

Is it December yet? it may take that long for it to get out of my system…That is how much was in it.

Oh - and what did they have question on? Is this what pumpkin is supposed to taste like? WHAT PUMPKIN??? I never tasted any…

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