I asked my wife if old men where boxers or briefs…she said DEPENDS.
I’m so old I don’t buy green bananas.
The only bad thing about retirement - you don’t get a day off.
Good bye tension - hello pension.
I was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
It’s nice to be here…at my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
The snap, crackle, pop in the morning ain’t my freakin’ Rice Krispies!
You know you’re getting older when you throw a wild party and your neighbors don’t even realize it.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy…sometimes I let him sleep.
Senior Campbell’s Soup - New LARGE TYPE alphabet soup.
The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Quit worrying about your health - it will go away.
I’m not old - I’m chronologically gifted.
Retirement is the best medicine.
Florida - God’s waiting room.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
At my age flowers scare me.
I’m so old that whenever I eat out, they ask me for my money up front.
I’m so old - all my friends in heaven will think I didn’t made it.
Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.
One good thing abut Alzheimer’s - you get to meet new people everyday.
It ain’t the age. It’s the darn mileage.
Support Bingo! Keep Grandma off the streets!
When did my wild oats turn into prunes and bran?
Any day above ground is a good one.
I’m not losing my hair - I’m getting more head.
Retirement - twice as much husband - half as much money.
My wife always gives me sound advice. 99% sound - 1% advice.