I based this one on an obsolete cocktail called the bocce ball (NB the linked recipe is stupidly wrong, anyway, but you get the idea):
2oz* gin**
2oz amaretto
half a glass of ice
2oz soda
remainder orange juice
1 lime wedge
put the ice, gin, & amaretto in a glass of about 14-16oz capacity, stare at it angrily, and add a bit more gin & amaretto (you can never have too much of these), carefully add the OJ & soda, squeeze the lime wedge in, and stir gently. If you do it right the night will be nothing more than a giant black hole of amnesia.
#2:
Beer!
Open, in rapid succession, 4 to 12 beers and drink until it’s the next day.
*I will not be using any of your Frenchyfied commie measurements. You have a computer, do your own conversions.
**Feel free to use vodka, I hate the stuff, but y’all can [redacted: profane & physically impossible].